The Alternate Universe Times

The Alternate Universe Times

Don’t ask me how I got a hold of it, but I recently was given a copy of the USA Today newspaper from the alternate universe of Gamma Delta 63 Omega. It seems that in this alternate, clearly much more progressive universe, the US legalized gay marriage in 1961. This social experiment went awry as you can see from the article I copied below.

Gay Weddings Cause Destruction of Traditional Marriage

May 21, 2011 – New York, NY

The Nation’s Organization for Marriage (NOM) today released a study looking back on 50 years since marriage rights were extended to gay and lesbian couples. The results of the study are chilling. It shows conclusively that the American family and traditional marriage have been destroyed in the 50 years since homosexual marriage was legalized.

The study used several metrics to evaluate the health of the traditional American family, which is defined as a committed, monogamous relationship between two consenting adults of opposite genders. The study included an assessment of divorce rates, extramarital affairs, children born out of wedlock, single parenting, and cohabitation before or in lieu of marriage.

“The numbers speak for themselves,” said Nancy Hickston, Executive Director of NOM, while speaking at a press conference about the study. “The US has always been a country of God and of family values. I think fondly of the 1950’s when we had strong families cemented on a foundation of traditional marriage. Then the homosexuals were granted the rights that God clearly never intended for them to have, and the American family was flushed down the toilet,” she concluded.

The data presented in the NOM study show how badly the American family and traditional marriages have been damaged as a result of granting same-sex marriage rights.


The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) statistics for the divorce rate show one example how letting gays marry has destroyed the traditional family. In the 1950’s, divorce was almost unheard of. By 2009, the divorce rate in America was 50%. The marriage rate in 2009 was 6.8 marriages per 1000 people in the population, with a divorce rate of 3.4 per 1000 ( When compared with other nations, the US ranks among the highest in divorce rates ( gives even more details behind these statistics. Divorce rates for a first marriage stand at 41%. The rate increases to 60% for second marriages and 73% for third marriages. Not only has gay marriage caused the divorce rate to skyrocket, it has caused people to have multiple marriages over the course of a lifetime.

Extramarital affairs

Gathering data on extramarital relationships is a difficult problem. Many people are unwilling to answer truthfully questions about sexual activity outside their marriage. Still, the numbers here show a disastrous result. In 1948, the famous research by Kinsey et. al. estimated that one in three men had engaged in extramarital sex, compared to one in five women. Today, that number approaches one in two for both genders ( The occurrence extramarital sex has increased significantly since gay marriage was legalized.

Children born out of wedlock

Examining the statistics for how many children are born outside of wedlock continues the trend. An excerpt from another study by the CDC tells it all. “In 2007, there were 1,714,643 babies born to unmarried women, an increase of 4% from 2006, and 26% higher than the number in 2002 (1,365,966). The 2007 total is 2.5 times the number reported in 1980 and 19 times the estimate for 1940 (89,500).” (

Single parenting

“The impact on children is one of the real tragedies behind these data,” according to Ms. Hickston. The number of single parent families – almost non-existent in the 1950’s – has jumped from 5% in 1970 to almost double at 9% in 2007 (

Cohabitation before or in lieu of marriage

The final nails in the coffin are the related to cohabitation of unmarried couples. This will come as no surprise, but it too has skyrocketed, increasing tenfold since 1960. The 1960 census reported a total of 439,000 couples cohabitating in the United States. 2005 data show that number has increased to 4.85 million. ( When asked about this specific statistic and what caused it, Hickston was forceful in her response. “Isn’t it obvious? Straight couples see the gays getting married and it lessens the meaning of marriage to them. I can totally understand how two straight people would see gay marriages and feel like the entire concept has been altered,” she said.

In concluding her speech, Ms. Hickston called for a repeal of the legalization of gay marriage. For her final remark, she left us with this thought: “The institution is so damaged; I know it will take time before our society will recover. The first step in that recovery is to close the wound. Repeal gay marriage now. This has been an abomination on our society for too long. Every time I look at these statistics I am shaken to the core. The only thing that helps me sleep at night is the hope that somewhere, in some parallel universe, people were smarter than we were and didn’t let the gays marry. In that universe, I know the American family is strong and intact.”

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